Before anything else I was an artist.
I loved to draw and paint and create. Still do.
When I was young I drew Birds. When I got a little older I drew Ninja Turtles and Transformers. I eventually progressed to paints and pastels, charcoal and various other mediums. I did portraits and landscapes and movie scenes. You name it, I tried to create it.
If I saw a blank piece of paper and a pencil I drew. Not because I hated the paper, but because I wanted to create something that I thought was beautiful.
I didn’t really care what other people thought – Yes I enjoyed the accolades when other people liked what I created, but for the most part I drew to create something that was beautiful TO ME.
This is what I do now with my body.
I try to create something that is beautiful to me. Again, I enjoy the accolades when other people enjoy it too, but the point of the art was to create a body that I found beautiful.
I didn’t hate the body before… I didn’t view it as less than or ugly.
I didn’t do it to fit in to social pressures (At least not knowingly) nor did I do it to please someone else…
I didn’t even want to create a body that was perfect. I just wanted to create.
Weight loss, building muscle – it doesn’t have to be ugly. It doesn’t have to be about hating yourself, or an obsession with perfection. Not everyone who tries to lose weight or build muscle does so out of self hate and social pressures.
Sometimes it’s art.