I want this car. I read about it. I stare at pictures of it late at night. Every aspect of it is perfect in my eyes, but the simple truth is, I cannot afford this car.
That is the truth, and it is the only truth that matters.
Sure, we can debate all the reasons why I can’t afford this car – I don’t make enough, or I’m bad with money. Maybe it’ my parents fault. Maybe I already own 5 sports cars. We can theorize and try to find a deeper blame, but the simple, unemotional truth is – Right now, at this present time, I cannot afford this car.
But man… do I ever want this car.
I know what color I want (white), what interior I want (red), I even know what rims I want (black).
And, I can think of all the reasons I should have this car.
- Most importantly – I deserve it – I work hard.
- You’re only young once.
- Why work so hard if you’re never going to treat yourself?
- Why should other people have this car and I shouldn’t?
- Interest rates are great now…
- It’s a corvette, so it’ll probably be a collectors car and actually go up in value.
- If I’m going to buy it I need to do it now, because at this point in time I can still out run Mrs Eat Stop Eat, a skill I will definitely need if that car shows up in the driveway 😉
When you look closely at all these reasons, you see that the underlying theme is that I deserve it… All the other reasons are really meant to reinforce the idea that I deserve it, which is supposed to be the great overriding factor that trumps the ‘I can’t afford it’ truth. ‘I deserve it’ is the emotional reasoning that (at times) can override the unemotional truth – ‘I can’t afford it’.
So why are we talking about cars ( other than the desperate idea that some bigwig at Chevrolet will read this and send me a new Stingray)?… Because it’s not much different than food.
It’s the same battle. The simple logic of ‘I can’t afford to eat that’ battling the emotional reasoning of ‘I deserve to eat that’
The problem is the food decision is much quicker.
If, when I went to the car dealership the salesman simply said “You know what? Take the car, we’ll figure out the finances later” there would probably be a new car in my driveway. Luckily, cars don’t work that way, but food does – You can just take it. And, the results aren’t immediate – you don’t eat a dozen donuts, look down, and watch yourself gain fat. It’s a slow process… often times an unnoticeable process – as people say – it just sort of ‘creeps up on you’.
Because it’s so slow we often don’t perceive not being able to afford to eat a food. Instead, it becomes something much less concrete – ‘I shouldn’t eat that food’. But ‘shouldn’t’ doesn’t really imply a reason, and without a reason it is very simple for the ‘I deserve it’ argument to win out. The reason is still ‘you can’t afford it’ and it will always be a battle of knowing you can’t afford something vs the feeling that you deserve it.
The very first step in winning this battle is knowing what you can afford. Whether it’s food or money you need to have a basic idea of your budget. If you can afford it – then you can afford it. Buy two Stingrays, eat a dozen donuts, it’s no one’s business because you can afford it (sure, we’ll talk about you behind your back because your jealous, but still it’s not really our busines)
No matter how much you can afford, there will still be a budget… and you need the discipline to stay close to this budget.
If you want something, save up, cut costs in other places etc. Do what you have to do to make it fit, but make it fit.
This is why I fast once or twice a week. It’s how I balance my budget. It allows me to eat the amount of food I want on the day’s I’m eating because I did a bit of saving on the days I was fasting. It isn’t a cycle of fasting and feasting, instead it’s just the best way for me to management of what I can afford.
In the end this is what almost every diet is – calorie management – creative ways to stay within your budget. The diet that works for you is the one that is the most manageable way for you to stay within your budget. And, as your budget changes (exercise, job, changes in your body etc) so does you budget – so the diet that fit best years ago may not be the diet that fits best now.
But in the end, you need to know whether or not you can afford something, and then have the discipline to act on that truth, and not the “I deserve it” lie.
BP